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  Candice had gone to work, or I would have turned to her for common sense advice. Devi was home, but I no longer trusted Devi. Jake was next to useless for anything other than casual conversation, and I had barely met Marky so I couldn’t talk to him about this. Keith… no, I didn’t want to bring my problems back to the loft. I was here on probation—a month to month trial basis on the promise of no-drama. And if I had to let Lola stay here for a few nights, I couldn’t guarantee there would be no drama.

  As scared as this was making me, I knew calling the police wouldn’t get me anywhere. Lola was an adult who had been out of touch for only one night. They would tell me to wait and see if Lola turned up.

  But what might happen in a day or two if I waited?

  I wanted to go confront Dick and Martin, and see who was lying to me. But I wasn’t stupid. I couldn’t go alone. Both of them were dangerous.

  So I needed some dangerous backup.

  Chapter 43

  Vic

  When my phone lit up with the name I had been waiting to see—Sierra—I would have agreed to do anything she asked. Sierra said, “Lola is missing and I’m not sure if Dick or Martin have anything to do with it. Will you come with me to find out who’s lying to me?”

  “I’ll be right there,” I told her.

  Before I left, I dug into my toy collection and grabbed an expandable police baton. It was eight inches when closed and opened to eighteen inches. A nice hard stick might come in useful. If I had to get in a fight to prove myself to Sierra, I was up for it.

  I stuck it in my boot and pulled my jeans leg over the top so nobody could see it. Unless I needed it. Finally something I could do. Jersey was not an easy place to grow up. I had been a loner, and had to fight more than my fair share. I was used to taking whatever advantage I could whenever I had to face a pissed-off dude. Or two.

  And I was dying to make someone else pay for their sins.

  I grabbed a cab over to Sierra’s place and she was waiting on the street for me. She jumped into the cab, her hair swinging loose behind her. A heavenly smell filled the air—even the cabbie lifted face to breathe deep. It was like a burst of life had joined us.

  “Thanks for coming, Vic.” Her eyes fastened on mine, and I was immediately lost in their dark depths. “I’m not sure if we should go see Dick first or Martin.”

  I had to shake myself out of the spell of her eyes. “Where was Lola last seen?” I finally asked.

  “Martin’s place.”

  “Then that’s where we start. You always go back to the place where a person was last seen when you’re looking for them.”

  Sierra gave me a sideways glance. “Spoken like a true stalker.” She leaned forward and read off the address from her phone to the cabbie.

  As she sat back and the cab pulled out, I cleared my throat. “Actually, I’ve never stalked a girl. I learned that from losing my grandparents at the store when I was a little kid. If you go back to where you saw them last, you can sometimes see where they went.”

  Sierra turned to me, reaching out to touch my arm. “I’m sorry, Vic.”

  I knew it must have sounded pathetic, because it was. Nobody had ever searched the aisles looking for me. I had to keep an eye on them or they would leave me behind. And the two mile walk home was a killer in the winter.

  “Don’t be sorry,” I told her. “I just want you to know I’m not all bad.”

  “I know,” she said simply.

  I was glad to hear she wasn’t as angry at me. Maybe it was because I had helped her when she panicked in Liam’s bondage harness. If so, it had been worth the pain of watching her have a scene with Liam.

  In the end, it didn’t matter what I wanted, as long as I could help her, I felt like I was right with the world.

  Maybe this was true love. My own wishes didn’t matter anymore. I wanted what was best for Sierra.

  I took hold of her hand. I couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch her.

  For a second, I wasn’t sure if she was going to pull away. I was looking down at our hands as she glanced over at me.

  Then she turned her hand under mine, clasping it. It was so simple, but so important. I usually didn’t like to hold hands. I wasn’t used to that kind of touch. That was probably another reason I kept girls at arm’s length through my role as Victor.

  But this felt so good, like a new strength was pouring into me. As if there were two of us facing the world together.

  I didn’t want to ever lose that feeling.

  The yellow cab pulled up in front of a run-down tenement house in Bushwick, in a dicey area. The light from Broadway petered out near the front of the building, and it was nothing but trash and filthy streets. I had a hard time believing Lola lived here, but there was a white van parked in the fenced lot next to the building that looked like the one Martin had been driving the other night.

  I paid off the cabbie, and told him, “If you wait here, we may need a ride back.”

  The guy looked around uneasy. “I can’t promise anything.”

  It was the best we were going to get in this neighborhood. I knew the cabbie would prefer a paying fare back to Manhattan, if he could get it. He might stay a few minutes.

  “Should I text Martin that we’re here?” Sierra asked as we approached the door.

  “No. Let’s check it out first.” I hated the fact that Sierra was with me. That made me a lot more cautious than normal.

  The glass door was covered by a wrought iron grate, and it was locked. A row of eight buttons on a silver plate had been awkwardly attached to the stone wall.

  “Do you know which floor?” I asked.

  She shook her head.

  I backed out to the street again, looking up. A lot of the windows were open, and there was loud music coming from the third floor.

  “Let’s try number three,” I said.

  I hit the third button a couple times, like someone impatient. It worked like a charm. The door buzzed and I grabbed it.

  The first floor had two doors in front and two behind the stairwell. There was an apartment on either side with dual access.

  Up above, someone poked their head over the railing. “Who you looking for?”

  “Martin,” I said.

  “Fourth floor,” the guy pointed and withdrew.

  It was not a climb for the faint of heart. Sierra was breathing heavily by the time we crested the top. It was dirty like the other floors. I listened at the door closest to the front of the building. A man was talking inside, pausing as if listening to an answer, then talking again like he was on the phone.

  “I can’t believe Lola lives here,” Sierra whispered.

  “Stay there, while I knock,” I said.

  Martin came to the door, looking expectant. Then he recognized me, turning to look down the landing at Sierra. “Have you found Lola?” Martin asked.

  “No.” Sierra came forward. “My mom hasn’t heard from her either.”

  Martin looked tense and worried. “Come on in.”

  The apartment was nearly bare, with only a few chairs and a turquoise couch against one wall. I stopped Sierra from going near it. I could see the flecks of cockroach droppings in the corners of the walls.

  Sierra was looked around as if she was in shock. Her loft was no palace, but it was better than this. I felt sorry for the girls—they were struggling to make it. It made my own situation look pretty cushy, even before I got my promotion. I should have been satisfied with what I had.

  But then I wouldn’t have found Sierra.

  I was determined to come out of this with her, and with a better future than I ever imagined.

  Chapter 44

  Sierra

  I hated Lola’s apartment. It was dirty and awful, and it made me sad to see my old couch and kitchen table living here, much less Lola.

  It made me dislike Martin more, but he was acting exactly like one could expect a distraught boyfriend to act. I questioned him about Lola and who she knew, but Martin had alread
y called everyone they knew.

  “Are there any… guys she might be interested in?” I carefully asked.

  Martin shook his head. “Nah, she’s more into girls right now.”

  I blinked a few times. “Seriously? Then, who did you tell her to stop talking to?”

  “Her old boyfriend. Dick. He’s trying to get money from her. I told her not to talk to him. She wasn’t happy about it, but she stopped.”

  “She wanted to talk to Dick?” I asked, incredulous.

  “Yes. She doesn’t like him. But he has some kind of hold over her.”

  Vic was watching Martin carefully, and he gave me a slight nod, to let me know he thought Martin was telling the truth.

  “Do you think Dick might have done something to Lola?” I asked, my voice higher with tension.

  “You tell me,” Martin said. “I don’t think Lola is scared of him. Not like that.”

  Vic finally spoke up. “Dick hurt Sierra. He knocked her down trying to get Lola’s address. There’s no telling what he would have done if I hadn’t shown up and stopped him.”

  Martin’s eyes narrowed, and he stood up straighter. “I didn’t know that.”

  “I told Lola. Why didn’t she tell you that?” I turned to Vic, putting my hand on his arm. “We have to go see Dick. What if he’s done something to Lola?”

  Vic put his arm around me. “It’s okay. I’ll make sure she’s all right.”

  Having his support made me feel almost dizzy with relief. I could count on Vic! He would help me. When he let me go so we could leave, I almost wanted to protest. It was so comforting to touch him, that I didn’t want to stop.

  Martin insisted on going, too, and I was glad. I can’t say I trusted Martin, but he was proving me wrong in my suspicions. I didn’t think he had anything to do with Lola’s disappearance. The man was seriously concerned about my sister.

  It was a tense drive up to Kissena Blvd where Dick lived. When we got there Martin didn’t try to find a parking spot on the crowded streets. He parked in front of a fire hydrant and jumped out.

  Only Vic slowed us down, urging us to get into Dick’s building on the sly, like we had done with Martin. Since it was a big brick apartment building, we didn’t have to wait long for someone to come out. Vic timed it so we were walking through the open front door in time to catch the second locked door before it closed.

  The couple who were leaving didn’t give us a second glance as we strolled inside behind them.

  I had been to Dick’s apartment before and I took the elevator to the fifth floor. As we approached his door, I heard something.

  It was a woman’s voice, yelling. I stopped.

  “Is that Lola?” I whispered.

  Martin and Vic were listening. “Maybe,” Martin said.

  Vic bent down and pulled out a short black baton from his boot. With a flick, it expanded into a sizable weapon.

  “Where did you get that?” I asked in surprise.

  Vic gave it a twirl and looked grim. “Hopefully we won’t need it.”

  Martin was on his toes, like he wanted to be the one running the show. But he gave way to the man with the big stick and let Vic go to the door first.

  Vic listened at the door, then nodded back at us. He mouthed: Lola.

  I wrapped my arms around my stomach, so afraid I didn’t know what to do. Seeing Vic holding that baton scared me. He had gotten the best of Dick the last time, but what if Dick hurt Vic? I had gotten him into this mess. It would be my fault.

  But Vic didn’t hesitate. He gave a sharp knock on the door with the stick, meaning business. “Dick! Open up. We’re here for Lola. We know she’s in there. We can hear her.”

  After a few moments of silence, Vic knocked harder and raised his voice. “Dick! Sierra is ready to dial 911. If you’re holding Lola in there against her will, it’s twenty-five years to life. If you don’t want your neighbors to hear the rest of this conversation, you’ll let us in now.”

  I pulled out my phone and got ready to dial 911 on Vic’s say so.

  Vic was standing close to the peephole so Dick could see him. Likely his baton wasn’t in view, though.

  “Lola!” Vic called through the door. “Sierra is here to see you. If you don’t come out, we’re calling the cops.”

  The bolt on the door shot open. In spite of myself, I felt a deep thrill to see Vic master the situation, and make Dick do what he wanted. That was power. That was the man I knelt to.

  The door opened and Dick was standing there sneering at us. “You brought a posse?”

  Vic shoved Dick’s chest, driving the big guy off balance. Dick took a swing and Vic swiped Dick’s arm with the baton, knocking it aside. Dick let out a cry at the pain. It was quick and brutal, and Vic didn’t give Dick a chance to strike.

  My breath caught as Vic drove Dick back inside the apartment in a short, sharp struggle. Vic got him against a wall, holding one hand on Dick’s chest to make sure he didn’t move as Martin and I entered. Vic’s other hand lifted the baton high, ready to brain him.

  Lola was wringing her hands at the other end of the room. “Stop it! Leave me alone, Sierra—“ Lola broke off to stare. “Martin! What are you doing here?”

  “I’ve been looking for you.”

  Lola’s defiant petulance disappeared in a flash. I was surprised to see Martin’s affect on my sister. Lola turned pleading eyes on him. “I’m sorry! But I had to settle things with Dick.”

  “What things?” I demanded.

  “She owes me fourteen hundred dollars,” Dick said. Dick looked from me back to Vic, who was still holding the baton ready in his hand.

  “I thought it was two thousand,” I countered.

  “That was yesterday,” Dick said with a smirk.

  Lola paled under Martin’s stern gaze. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed.

  I was outraged. “Lola! You don’t owe Dick anything. He gave you that money because you were going out together.”

  “Breach of promise,” Dick declared. “She was supposed to marry me.”

  “You were never engaged,” I denied. I turned to Lola. “You weren’t engaged.”

  Dick laughed but it sounded sick. “Yes, we were. But Lola didn’t want you to know.”

  “Lola?” I asked in confusion. “Is that true? Why wouldn’t you tell me you were engaged to Dick?”

  “Because I only said yes to get the rent money!” Lola exclaimed. She glared at Dick. “I wasn’t going to marry him.”

  “That’s why she owes me fourteen hundred dollars,” Dick insisted. “She lied to me.”

  In the silence that fell over them, Vic finally spoke up. “That’s bullshit.”

  “It’s not—“ Dick started forward.

  But Vic stuck the end of the baton in the center of Dick’s chest to stop him. “You’ve got something on Lola, or she wouldn’t pay you off. What is it, Dick?”

  Dick gulped for air as he looked over at Lola.

  That’s when I realized Vic was right. I turned on my sister. “Why are you playing Dick’s game, Lola? What’s in it for you?”

  Lola blew out her breath. She looked even more contrite than she had over being caught cheating on Martin. “I didn’t want you to know, Sierra.”

  “About being engaged?” I asked, confused.

  “No. It’s worse than that.” Lola scrubbed a hand across her face. “I knew Dick wasn’t a cop. I found out a couple weeks after he brought me home that night in handcuffs. But I knew if I told you that you would make me stop seeing him.”

  I took a step back, shaking my head. “You knew? The whole time? You knew that he was pretending to be a cop? And you lied to me about it?”

  “I’m sorry, Sierra! At first it was because I wanted to keep seeing him, and then it turned into this huge power struggle. And I knew you’d be mad that I lied…”

  “So you lied to me for over a year?” I repeated. “Including when I told you I knew he wasn’t a cop, and you yelled at me for trusting him?”


  “It got so messed up, Sierra. I couldn’t tell you I was using him for rent money. You would have made me stop.”

  “Hey!” Dick protested. “You don’t have to be such a bitch—“

  Vic jabbed his stomach hard with the baton. “Shut up.”

  Dick let out an oof! and clutched at his middle, bending over. Vic had caught him perfectly. Dick couldn’t catch his breath. Vic was smiling slightly, but he refrained from hitting Dick again.

  “Don’t feel sorry for him.” Lola told me as she made a face at Dick. “He’s a con man, a real jerk. I gave him a taste of his own medicine.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me when you broke up with him?” I asked, still trying to understand it.

  “I couldn’t stand how disappointed in me you would be. The lectures I’d get. And I wasn’t sure you’d forgive me. I guess it was easier for me to leave you then to see you leave me behind again. Like you always do.”

  I felt their eyes turn to me. How did this suddenly get to be about me? But somehow Vic’s eyes were the worst—he didn’t blame me for not forgiving him.

  “You should have told me the truth,” I said to both Lola and Vic.

  Vic was nodding. “Yes.”

  But Lola jerked her chin. “It’s not easy to tell you the truth, Sierra. You expect things to be a certain way. It’s hard to live up to what you want.”

  I realized that Lola could be speaking for Vic. It was true, I had closed my eyes to the signs of discord between Lola and Dick, because I liked having help taking care of her. And Vic was right that in the very beginning, I had judged him as “Jersey” and dismissed him before I saw him. I did talk to him because Monica said he was rich and successful. I was enchanted by his view and seduced by the idea of his wealthy lifestyle, and that’s why I completely lost control and we had wild sex that first time.

  I must have looked terribly downcast because Lola came towards me. “I’m sorry, Sierra. It’s sucked big time this past year. There’s been a giant wall between us, until I feel like I can’t even talk to you anymore. I know how mad you are. So when Dick threatened to tell you that I always knew he wasn’t a cop if I didn’t pay him back… I didn’t want to have to deal with it. I thought I’d pay him back and put it in the past so we could finally move on.”